Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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