Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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