I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize