They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
