How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
