Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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