I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
