roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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