she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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