He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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