the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
