I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
