If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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