I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
