I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Found the puke drawer
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
