Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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