I just made out with a guy for $7.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
