Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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