her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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