I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
