um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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