Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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