I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
