Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
