I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I bet he comes in French.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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