where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
honey bunches of taint.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
