you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
