So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
