Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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