it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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