I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
