I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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