put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got inside last night via doggy door
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
