Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
