"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
