last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
