what day is it and did you see me today?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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