why didn't you poke me back
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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