wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize