I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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