It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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