The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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