friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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