Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
