What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
