then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
