my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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