I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
