Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
