Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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