if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
