you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
