i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
