covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
