How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
