Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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