i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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