Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize