I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i already hear my dad disowning me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
