i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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